TALKINGSHITCOIN
Tonight's Card · 2026-07-25 · field of 110 weighed in · median liquidity $1,934 · sanctioned by nobody
SHIT Index 74321715.4 +249.4% Reigning champion ▣ Jimothy 5-0, belt since 2026-07-21, no defenses yet

MAIN EVENT · 5 rounds · RAKO vs TRUMP2028

Green corner · favorite
RAKO(1-0)
RAKO / SOL
vol $2,709,546
liq $58,121
24h +1,627%
flags 0
VS
5 judged rounds
Red corner · challenger
TRUMP2028(0-1)
TRUMP2028 / SOL
vol $11,342,779
liq $62,924
24h +1,354%
flags 1
DESK LINE: RAKO -111 · TRUMP2028 +111
implied 53% on the favorite, derived from the composite score, not from our feelings

Tale of the Tape

RAKOTRUMP2028
$2,709,54624h volumeis anyone trading it$11,342,779
$58,121liquiditycan anyone leave$62,924
+1,627%24h movethe candle+1,354%
46.6xturnover (vol/liq)past 50x smells like wash180.3x
63.3composite scorethe desk's number62.1
0red flagscommission notes1
52,08624h transactionsbodies in the building143,660
7,444unique buyersdistinct wallets, harder to fake16,202
$505,145FDVreported, not judged$418,045

Judges' Scorecard

RoundRAKOTRUMP2028
R1 volume
real trading interest, 1.5x takes the round, 10x takes it big
910
R2 liquidity
depth of the exit door, same bar
1010
R3 momentum
24h move, capped so one candle cannot steal the fight
1010
R4 turnover
healthy churn scores, wash-trade churn is penalized
108
R5 discipline
fewest red flags on file
109
Totals · split decision4947
The desk's verdictRAKO takes it on turnover, discipline. TRUMP2028 spent the fight arguing with the commission about 1 open flag. Split decision.

The Undercard

MEMENOTE(0-1)
vol $5,366,627 · liq $73,116 · +1,077% · ▲1
VS
47-48 · -119/+119
WJIMWIF(1-0)
vol $841,996 · liq $23,325 · +235%
JIMWIF takes it on turnover, discipline. MEMENOTE spent the fight arguing with the commission about 1 open flag. Split decision.
props(1-0)W
vol $1,850,883 · liq $32,880 · +494% · ▲1
VS
49-46 · -153/+153
Fine(0-1)
vol $81,729 · liq $17,350 · +353%
props takes it on volume, liquidity, turnover. Fine showed up, which counts for something. Split decision.

New Blood · completed pump.fun bonding, now eligible for the arena

DebutWeigh-in liquidityPromotional assistance
USOH (USOH) $230,687 walked in unassisted
USOH (USOH) $219,268 walked in unassisted
USOX (United States Oil Exchange) $207,462 walked in unassisted
AORP (American Oil Relief Program) $179,933 walked in unassisted
TERRA (Terraformation) $173,119 walked in unassisted

The Obituaries · fighters featured on past cards, since departed

The departedFeaturedLiquidity thenLiquidity nowCause of death
Jimothy (Jimothy / SOL) 2026-07-24 $638,795 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
KET (KET / SOL) 2026-07-24 $289,750 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
looong (looong / SOL) 2026-07-24 $130,429 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Tilly (Tilly / SOL) 2026-07-24 $67,330 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Cricket (Cricket / SOL) 2026-07-24 $36,825 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
PUNY (PUNY / SOL) 2026-07-24 $31,696 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
GROK (GROK / SOL) 2026-07-23 $121,649 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Kyle (Kyle / SOL) 2026-07-23 $52,963 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
NINJIMOTHY (NINJIMOTHY / SOL) 2026-07-23 $52,496 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
normoids (normoids / SOL) 2026-07-23 $38,574 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Syrax (Syrax / SOL) 2026-07-23 $24,381 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
HeavyPulp (HeavyPulp / SOL) 2026-07-22 $280,696 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened

The desk notes the median token covered here goes to zero. This section exists because that is not a metaphor.

Commission Notes · open flags on tonight's participants

FighterFlag on file
TRUMP2028 volume/liquidity ratio smells like wash trading
MEMENOTE volume/liquidity ratio smells like wash trading
props volume/liquidity ratio smells like wash trading

Flags are mechanical: turnover past 50x liquidity, exit doors under $5k, FDV/liquidity past 500x. A flag costs points on the composite score and loses the discipline round. The commission does not negotiate.

Paid Promotions Desk

The following fighters purchased their own hype. They are quarantined from the card and ineligible for the main event, regardless of score. We report this fact with the gravity it deserves.

FighterVolumeLiquidityStatus

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