TALKINGSHITCOIN

The archive

One card goes out on a fixed daily schedule, no earlier because something is pumping and no later because something is dumping. Every issue is archived here and mailed to subscribers via the newsletter. The latest dispatch is reproduced in full below.

Latest issue · 2026-07-11

Main Event: febu

febu/SOL enters the day's top slot with a score of 66.03, having moved 24-hour volume of $7,050,554 against liquidity of $275,015. The token is up 271.99 percent over the same period. The volume-to-liquidity ratio sits above 25 to 1, a figure that invites scrutiny without requiring accusation.

No formal red flags were logged against the contract. The desk notes this in the spirit of full disclosure: absence of a flag is not the same as a clean bill of health, merely the absence, so far, of a documented one.

The Undercard

  • Loom: score 63.81, volume $3,389,494, liquidity $97,464, up 359.46 percent. Liquidity remains a fraction of turnover.
  • DUMP: score 59.5, volume $337,678, liquidity $223,200, up 1,976.02 percent. The name is either candor or a dare.
  • GHOSTI: score 58.86, volume $2,990,048, liquidity $33,067, up 394.56 percent. Volume-to-liquidity ratio flagged for wash-trading characteristics.
  • NORMIE: score 58.18, volume $839,480, liquidity $330,712, up 205.29 percent. The most conventionally proportioned fighter on the card.
  • mogdog: score 57.84, volume $4,036,191, liquidity $41,281, up 231.12 percent. Volume-to-liquidity ratio flagged for wash-trading characteristics.

Graduation Ceremony

  • $SAKURASTRONAUT (SHINYSUIT): completed the bonding curve with liquidity of $40,403 and a starting score of 9.21. Diploma issued, employment not guaranteed.
  • agentx402: graduated with liquidity of $31,105 and a score of 8.99. Proceeds to the open market with modest institutional fanfare.
  • Cash Dog (CASHDOG): liquidity of $27,807, score 8.89. The commencement speech writes itself.
  • Hoppy: liquidity of $21,500, score 8.66. Smallest graduating liquidity of the group not named SUPPORT.
  • SUPPORT: liquidity of $9,468, score 7.95. Graduates today, appears again below under different auspices.

Paid Promotions Desk

The following fighters purchased their own hype. We report this fact with the gravity it deserves.

  • SUPPORT: liquidity $9,468, score 7.95. The only entrant on today's docket who paid for the microphone.

Closing Bell

Across the 95-token field tracked today, median liquidity stands at $1,733.53, a figure dwarfed by even the undercard's smallest liquidity pool. The gap between the median and the main event by three orders of magnitude confirms, once again, that this market rewards concentration over breadth.


Talking Shitcoin is entertainment and information, published on a fixed schedule. Nothing here is financial advice, and no coverage is a recommendation to buy anything, least of all these. Some links pay us a commission (marked). Paid token promotions are disclosed as PAID PROMO. We cover them the way a fight promoter's press release deserves.

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